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I’m dead. Totally dead. A smile can’t hide the sadness deep in my heart. A fake smile. I already try to happy but one person knew that there’s something behind the happiness. And the person are not my besties pun. Ya, she’s a good friend of mine and I do love her. She can read my mind though. Then I realize, I still have many friends beside me. Many but if I lost one, I become lost too eventhough just one. She is my sunshine, she’s my best friend ever, she’s my twin that I couldn’t leave without her by my side. But now we’re like strangers and awkward silence between us. Ya, its my fault, my damn fault and I don’t know my mouth is so shit. Sorry God, I’ve use my mouth wrongly and its hurt her feelings. I have such a bad mouth ain’t? and not only her that angry with my mouth, my talk. Many friends did. But I forgot about them. Do you feel cool to break their heart shasya? Nope, I’ve just realized it but its too late. She already hate me and I don’t even know what to do. Duhh, stinks mouth of mine. I need to repair my mouth as soon as possible. Ain’t become the silence person is good? At least no one will hurt because of them right? Oh God please, I do love her. Love her till the end. But I don’t want our friendship end just like this. I know her well. When she hate someone, possible she will hate till the end and I’m scared of being one of them. I’m scared. I’m scared of losing she by my side. I’ll try to husnudzon, thinking like she’s maybe have another problem to be settled on. But my husnudzon still can’t break my thought that she will leaving me soon. Allah, this is the big and tough experience You give me and I don’t know I can survived or not. But I know You always beside me even when I don’t even care for You. Forgive me Ya Allah. Forgive your slave please. I know this is the way for You to remind me that I already gone too far form You right? When this happen, I’ve just realize about You. If this the ujian You give me, then I accept it Ya Allah. I accept it. And everything happen for a reason, hikmah. I will wait for the hikmah then.